The Grid and The Web
feeling into where we are and where we may be travelling
A foot in each world
I have always found myself with a foot in both worlds simultaneously. And I’m sure many reading this can resonate.
I burrow into teachings and courses on feminine magic, feminine structure, feminine wealth. I listen incessantly to astrology podcasts. ALL of my books are by mystical and spiritual authors. I journal daily about my innermost thoughts and feelings, and connect life events (for myself and others) to planetary transits, thirstily looking up, and applying my eagle eye, on astro.com.
All the while I spend 24 hours of my week working in a very mainstream bank in a financial district - within a framework of reality that, as a whole, denies the validity of all of the above.
For the past decade or more, this has been the case (except, in the past, the bank was a law firm). And, for most of that time, I was “efforting” at getting away. There was always a sense of tension, like “I don’t want to be here, I want to be there”, “This is wrong, that is right.” I wrote a piece that touched on this ever-existing tension before.
Someone said to me last year in relation to this dilemma: “It will fall away when it’s supposed to.”
It made me relax deeply.
Because there has always been an internal (and an external) effort-ing at getting away, all the while remaining stuck. Like a prisoner clanging at the jail bars making things worse for herself (perhaps all the while not realising that her release is planned in 4 weeks).
And, for the body - though it can be intense - there can be great learning opportunities in staying with the discomfort of the thing you are trying to get away from.
We speak a lot nowadays about being between two worlds, two epochs, two stages of evolution, and that we are in the process of a quantum leap. But, if that is the case, the body must take the journey with us. And, at least it feels to me, our bodies want to fully process and integrate and understand where we are travelling from. Like someone that is packing up to move house, or move country, the process is easier when we fully accept and appreciate where we have been (and all the gifts its given us)
And in that way there is a value in the body stepping back and forth, back and forth, feeling into, accepting fully where we are now AND sensing into, inviting, tasting where we are moving towards.
Really letting our cells feel these realities.
And letting the wisdom, the intelligence, the knowing flow to us from our cells, from our visceral knowing.
Yes, this the way forward. No, that no longer is serving me. Yes, I more deeply understand now why (rather than blindly following an idea that my mind accepts but not fully feeling into what my body actually needs and wants).
The reality of the web
For example, what I have been strongly sensing in my body these past weeks is this growing felt sense of my/our feminine consciousness as web-like. Soft, Supple. Strong. Pulsating, Connecting everything to everything else.
This is where my awareness moves when my time and space are my own, when I am engaged with what I love, when I am mothering.
And atlhough this intuitive, visceral sense of both being part of a greater web, and moving within and creating my own web, has perhaps been there for awhile, it is increasingly supported by fascinating, thoroughly-researched work (both spiritual and scientific).
The reality of the grid
And, on the other hand,
During the times I have had to switch back, think and work from a different mode, get into the “mainstream” work with which I am engaged, I feel myself inside a fairly inflexible grid-like structure. And I mean this as an internal sense. Because in fact there is a very relaxed, open, friendly work culture where I am.
But when I am engaged with the way of thinking, the way of working (and this is no different to other similar work places this past decade), a feeling of undeniable order and control.
Linearity. Structure. Rigidity. Also safety, security. familiarity.
And I feel much is being revealed.
Even just in the constant observation of these bodily sensations, back and forth, back and forth.
What is the intelligence of the body revealing? Before the mind even comes in with ideas of what is right and wrong.
And what feels most natural?
Where is the truth hiding in these mysteries that perhaps only the body and the senses can fully reveal?
Some people talk about a “false matrix” that we have been plugged into, where we have experienced, at some point in time, a very painful separation from the deep love at the heart of creation, our absolute knowing of ourselves as one with all of life.
However, without even needing to understand what that means, or agree with that “idea”,
We can ask - with the type of sensations I’ve described above - what is my body whispering?
And what does my body deeply desire?
In ‘The Sacred Feminine and The Law’ container, I want to go into this exploration much more deeply and also describe, especially for female lawyers, how there is an opportunity for us now to begin to practice law from this visceral sense of being part of an interconnected web rather than from the sense of being restrained inside of an inflexible grid. There is so much more to this than I can describe here (and I am at the beginnings of applying this to the practice of law myself) however we will travel into amazing, grounded teachings on this - that feel to me particularly resonant for lawyers who work with structure all the time.
Finally, this article was supposed to be on a completely different topic but, as I sat down to type tonight, this seems to be what wanted to be said!
I hope some of it resonates.
If you would like join ‘The Sacred Feminine and The Law - a container for 2025’ for only the first theme Reflecting, exploring and dialoging on the theme of separation consciousness and the Law, you can join for €44 here. This will mean joining on Sunday, 23 February AND Sunday, 8 March.
Otherwise, you can join the full container for €222 here. This will mean joining for ten Sundays between 23 February and 13 July.
If you’d like to read more about the feelings and ideas behind The Sacred Feminine and The Law - a container for 2025, read my introductory article and video on Substack here and take a look at my website.
Much love,
Elaine