A foot in each world
giving birth to sacred creation in Law
For my 21st birthday, one of my best friends bought me this ring with two gemstones. She told me one of the stones represented freedom, one represented discipline - and she knew these two qualities were important to me.
Even then this thread was making itself visible in my life.
It was only much later that I found out my evolutionary path is from the qualities of pisces (oneness, freedom, the ocean, dreaming) to the qualities of virgo (detail, precision, discipline, weaving). In astrology, the nodes of fate (north node, south node) can help us discover this evolutionary path and the qualities our soul is here to more fully actualise and integrate.
I say this because I realise I have always felt this foot in two worlds in my work, my vocation, that which deeply interests me.
In the law but perhaps more specifically in the context of working in corporate offices, skyscrapers, high pressure environments, environments where discipline, efficiency, productivity, detail and precision are praised and rewarded.
And in the mystical, the space where all of it becomes undone, where "I" can enter deeply into my own inner landscape and its never-ending richness, where I can feel my own soul and let it nourish and sustain me deeply.
The slow integration of these two over time has looked like creating a magazine (words and structure!) to give a voice to law and spirit, law and consciousness; learning the mystical and incredibly precise language of astrology; finding the doorway and entering the incredible mystery school of the womb.
In the meanwhile, I find that my feet still stand in these two worlds. And I realise that I have nearly always resented one of them, wanting it to cut me loose, not wanting to learn its lessons. At times, I have forcibly run away.
The truth is though I do love qualities of them both (and there are aspects of both I find very challenging).
I am imagining now a woman with her legs spread open giving birth - her sacred creation an alchemy of the two poles.
And I wonder is that what is always really being asked of us. Particularly when we are rejecting parts of us that don't fit the image we want of ourselves. Whether we wish we were more completely spiritually-oriented or whether we wish we were more materially-oriented. Or whichever other polar opposites any of us are grappling with in our everyday lives. Astrology can give us clues as to what they are for us.
This Virgo/Pisces - (in very broad terms) Discipline/Freedom - axis for me and my ongoing enquiry into feminine spirituality and law has been opening up this emerging knowing of the incredible precision and organic structure in spirit, in fhe feminine realms. And this sense that, at some point, we will no longer need these false, man-made, external laws and structures imposed upon us because we will have rediscovered and released ourselves back into roots and bones real, spiritual loving laws, patterns, templates that are always already holding us and guiding us.